73. A Gift for Yourself

Yes you can.

Hi friends,

It’s the season of giving, a time when we find ways to support those in need, and express our gratitude to those closest to us. While it is important and wonderful to think of others, don’t forget to be kind to yourself.

Here are a few things you can do over the coming days and weeks to give yourself gifts of kindness:

• Reflect on an act of creativity that you connect with, but you don’t believe you can do. Whether it is writing poetry, making music, dancing, or drawing, think about something you don’t believe you are capable of doing. You know what I mean. The thing you believe you have no talent for. Singing is big one for many people, but it can be any artistic endeavor. As you think about it, turn your internal narrative upside down. Tell yourself you CAN do it, even if you are bad at it at first. Remember, it’s good to be bad at something. In fact, it’s healthy to try and fail at first. It doesn’t mean you’ll always be bad at it. It’s just your starting point. Tell yourself that you can sing, draw, and/or dance, even if you don’t think you can. Begin the process of undoing that false belief. Because it IS a false belief. I’m not saying you’re going to be Celine Dion or Harry Styles, but you ARE capable of singing, and given some time, work, and proper guidance, I bet you’d be pretty decent at it. Good enough to sing in a local choir, or with a garage band of friends. But the first step is believing you can, even if you can’t do it well at the moment.

• Once you’ve begun to tell yourself a new story, that you can actually do something artistic that you used to believe you couldn’t, determine your next step to make this belief a reality. Find a YouTube tutorial on how to sing or sign up for a lesson with a qualified teacher. Find out when a local, non-auditioned chorus rehearses and see if you can go try out a rehearsal. There are some choruses that don’t require that you read music, or will provide guidance and coaching on reading to help acclimate you to the group. Whatever it is, find an ACTION to take. Register for an acting or dance class, or just sit down and write a poem or create a drawing. You don’t have to be good at it. What most people don’t take into account is the TIME it takes to get good at something. Start where you are and continue to tell yourself that you CAN do this.

• Create a routine that supports your new artistic activity. Being creative takes time and effort, and it’s well worth it. Shake up your schedule and add your singing, drawing, or dancing to your daily - or a least your weekly - activities. Consistency is key. If you believe you can’t do something, it’s likely because you’ve never committed to working hard at it. Give yourself a lot of time to be bad at it. That’s where we begin. Trust me. If you work at it, consistently, and with proper guidance, you will get better.

• Love yourself. I really mean this. Embrace your inner artist. Your initial goal isn’t to become the next Picasso or Rembrandt, it’s to express yourself and become comfortable in your creative skin. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a five-year old child who is excited to learn something new, but is having difficulty. Don’t squash your inner artist’s spirit. Lift yourself up, and give yourself the room to explore, the room to fail, and ultimately the room and time needed to improve. Smile at your first attempts, knowing that while your inner critic can be fierce, but you need time to develop your skills. It won’t happen overnight, and that’s ok. Match your inner critic with an inner cheerleader. Let both of them egg you on to greater heights.

I hope this resonates with you. If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, send it their way (click that share button). It’s never too early to begin a new creative journey. Go make some music, make some art. Dance. Sing.

Be creative.

~Russ